#9 on my 30@30 list was Teach Again. This was a tough one
for me to decide on. I truthfully did not really want to include it as
something to do this year but I knew if I didn’t force myself to I would most
likely regret it the rest of my life. For years now I have wrestled with
teaching, especially in secondary education. I have sworn off ever going into a
classroom again only to become determined to return to teaching the next day.
It has been back and forth since I left my full-time teaching job 7 years ago,
and through those years there has been only one constant, I had not tried it
again. So I did.
At some point in my high school years I decided that I would
grow up and become a high school social studies teacher, a basketball coach…and
maybe tennis, live somewhere in the south preferably North Carolina (not to
far, not to close), and find a place as close to the beach as possible. When I
finally reached college I declared myself an undecided major. It seemed way too
reasonably to follow in the family footsteps and choose right off the bat a
career in education. However, after only one semester I gave in and made it
official. Despite contemplating switching majors many times, and a horrible
student teaching experience, I graduated and passed my license exam to become
certified. And then lo and behold, after a month of searching, I landed my
dream job!
I still think about that year of teaching in Currituck,
North Carolina…every. day. Over the past few years I tell people the biggest
regret in my life is leaving that place. But I can admit, it was hard, right
from the start. I really struggled with teaching high school, being away from
my family and Amy, and adjusting to such a different culture. After the first
three weeks I returned to PA over a weekend for a wedding. I remember stopping
for the night at my friend Matt's house in D.C. and venting so much frustration
about education and how much I hated it. It is hard to admit but I made up my
mind teaching wasn’t for me 5 months into it. But I’ll get to that.
I can name a few reasons why I wanted to teach again. 1)
After spending 7 years trying to do everything I could possibly do to get away
from teaching, I had gotten nowhere. The only option left, really, was to
return to the classroom against my own will. 2) I know…that when I lived in NC
I hated my life most days. I was miserable. But most of my thoughts now were
that I could have done it…it would have gotten better. 3) I remain very
passionate about education, and I still LOVE to teach, but how would I know if
I still hated the classroom if I never took a chance and tried it again? So I
put my name on some substitute list (it sucked, I was miserable filling out
these app.’s) and got called in March from Eden Christian Academy.
It was amazing how it all came back to me so fast…at least
how much I disliked it! I couldn’t stand most of the middle school classes,
they were so immature and irritating. After period 2 I was bored out of my mind
and had drank my weight in coffee. You know what’s amazing about education
right now? With all the advances and supposed improvements in how we teach,
TEACHERS STILL GIVE HANDOUTS. In the middle of all this, however, I LOVED being
a part of a community again. I LOVED how when I came in next time to sub the
kids were excited to see me and laughed at my dumb jokes as if they were the
greatest thing ever. I LOVED the few moments when I got to teach something for
real, and they listened.
I am very, very glad I taught again this year. I had to do
it. I have tormented myself for so long over my decision to leave Currituck.
And sitting here now, I could be a teacher for the rest of my life. Would it be
my dream job as I had believed in high school? No. But it would be a great job,
and I could do it. There is so much more I wish I could write about
teaching…but this point in my life is not the time, maybe in a few years when I
can go a day without thinking of Currituck.
It was a cold, clear night in late December 2004. I was the
JV coach for the Currituck basketball team and we had just gotten crushed by
Bertie, a school located two hours away in the middle of nowhere North
Carolina. I had almost gotten in a fight with the clock operator. The A.D. was
driving the bus home, and the head coach and I were in the front 2 seats,
talking a little about the team and the school. After a while the A.D. turned
to me and said “hey look out your window, that’s the Albemarle Sound we are
crossing.” The sound was big and the bridge took a while. It was a beautiful
sight, with the sky melting into the still cold black waters. I thought how odd
it all was that I would find my life here, on a bridge, crossing a sound, in a
place I didn’t know existed until now. I closed my eyes and immersed myself in
an imaginative reality, in which this WAS my life, for the next 35 years; The
A.D., the coach, the players, the sound…and I thought I could do this, and I
smiled. The next day I returned to PA and Ohio for Christmas break. And when I
drove back down to NC I had made up my mind to leave after only one year in
Currituck…. #9: TEACH AGAIN