Greetings from Paradise!

I’m in paradise!!! As I sit here and write this I’m being carried away by violins playing a wispy melody that takes me out into the blue and sunny sky with no thoughts to anything but being free. And then the bass line comes in and the wispy song is turned into a haunting tune that reminds me of the reality I see out my kitchen window; snow flurries, a grey sky, and a dull landscape highlighted only by the still green grass in my yard.

I was in the middle of a difficult run the other day when the song “Paradise” by Coldplay came on my new iPod Nano (thaaaaank you wifey!). It was definitely an inspiring song to run to and it took me away from thinking about each step and off to my only little paradise. But when it ended I kind of….looked around and thought to myself, ‘could this be anyone’s paradise?’ It surely is not what comes to my mind when I imagine a perfect place. My image of Paradise always involves a sandy beach, royal blue sky, 2 palm trees, and a warm sun! So I wondered, what do other people picture when they think of paradise? Is anyone’s paradise covered in snow and muddy street corner puddles set amidst bare, lifeless trees and a colorless sky? Yeah, if this is paradise, I thought, I pass.

In the song the lyrics describe a little girl who had all the innocent hope for the best in the world but it eluded her…leaving her to go to sleep at night dreaming of Paradise as if it was an escape from her now jaded and less optimistic view of the world. What does this girl dream of at night? I doubt it’s a place called paradise, as I think of it. Instead, maybe to her, paradise has nothing to do with the physical world but instead with a life relived as that little girl. What if paradise is something different than a place, an image, a location?

If it’s not a place, then I think paradise is what we find in the people around us. The people we love and who love us. It’s seeing these people during the holiday’s, that first hug from your parents, wrapped in so much joy, or the loving and sloppy kiss from your family dog, whose tail gives away that YOU are their paradise! If it’s not a place, then Paradise is the experiences that bring us laughter and joy and happiness. I don’t (yet) have any kids but I bet almost any parent can see in their son or daughter’s eyes that every minute spent with mom and dad is a glimpse into paradise. And if it’s not a place, then it doesn’t matter if it’s your world on a sunny day or a cold, dreary day. What matters is the search for Paradise in what’s around us and the experiences that become our most beautiful dreams at night…the dreams of Paradise, the dreams of our lives.

How to Dress Like a Frumpy Old Man

I was running by the local college yesterday when I came across a student dressed like a frumpy old man. I almost stopped to talk to him because after all, any one dressed like this has to hold great wisdom that comes from many years of life and a warm cardigan. I wanted to ask him what happened that morning to lead to the decision to wear penny loafers, ankle high white socks, gym shorts that DEFINITELY violated the fingertip rule and had John Stockton’s approval, and the brown wrinkly sweater. And where was the pipe that finished such an outfit? Instead I kept running, thinking over the next mile how someone should inform this student that after college that outfit goes in the closet until such frumpy wisdom is truly achieved. Today I realized this random student may have been a figment of my imagination, representing the crossroad in my life of turning 30.

This past Sunday at Buca di Beppo I shared some of my 30@30 list with friends and family. My dad asked me what happens if a year from now I’m about to turn 31 and my list is not finished. My mind froze for a minute and I faltered at a good answer. I still don’t have an answer to that daunting possibility….but I know the only way I can fail on this is to not try at all and that is what keeps me motivated.

Before I present the list I want to mention this is not my bucket list. That list, to me, represents singular acts that one wants to achieve before they die. In addition, I’m 90% positive this is not my midlife crisis. If it is, I should probably make it better than simply completing a list of 30 things! Instead this list stands for living in a different way than I have, in a way that allows me to give more of myself to others, to get more out of life by doing the things I love, and to live in a way that is intentional and on purpose.

So here is my list, I put it out there and welcome feedback on any of the items! The list is set, that will not change, but I need your help in achieving some of these (i.e., #26: What is the best pizza you have ever tasted? #5: What’s your dream…something you always imagine doing and how cool it would be?). A lot of them are easily achievable (#8, #10, #27), a few will be completed only through hard work and perseverance (#4, #7, #23). ALL of them come with a story and a reason.   

In no particular order I give you my list of the 30 things I will do in my 30^th year!!! I can’t wait to get started!!

1. Run a Marathon
2. Go Surfing
3. Go Snow Skiing
4. Volunteer for a Year
5. Help Someone Achieve a Dream
6. Surprise Amy
7. Have Dinner with a Celebrity
8. Go Camping
9. Teach Again
10. Start and Write a Blog
11. Rekindle a Friendship
12. Tell Someone they made a Difference in my Life
13. Sing in Public
14. Share my Faith
15. Play Basketball
16. Spend all Day in a Museum
17. Go to a Movie Premiere
18. Tell Someone I'm Sorry
19. Play a Prank
20. Go Somewhere I've Never Been
21. Ask Someone their Life Story
22. Spend an Entire Day in Silence
23. Buy a House
24. Go to the Theater
25. Write a Story
26. Eat the best Pizza I can Find
27. Play Disc Golf
28. Go to a Sunrise Beach Service
29. Wear a Tux
30. Throw a Party

"The Battle of the Sidewalk Square Puddle"

I took my dog Cohen for a walk yesterday and we got in a fight. We encountered a puddle which Cohen refused to wade. So we stood there, staring at each other across the vast ‘sidewalk square puddle’, both refusing to move. I tugged gently on his leash; he just looked at me and sat down. Things looked bright when Cohen boldly walked to the edge of the puddle and stuck his paw in the dark waters...only to find the crossing to risky and resume his 'sit-in' protest. After a tense minute of battle between man and man’s best friend…we compromised and walked down the alley to the right!

That story has no bearing on my life or this blog; I just have no idea how to start one of these other than with the first of what will most likely be often told Cohen stories! But I will get straight to the point and say this blog has more of a purpose than sharing random stories, thoughts, ideas, rants from the serving world, and other general ramblings (of course these will often appear); it will be my documentation for the next year of my life.

A couple months ago, while in the middle of my 74,329^th job search I started to wonder why I wait to do so much until I have a better job. And with my 30^th birthday approaching I began thinking about how much…impact I have on those around me. Was I really living my life in a way that made a difference to others? Was there more I could give to my family, friends, and community? I thought about this for a few days and started to formulate an idea: what if I started doing all the things I’ve always said I would do? Not like the big things that take a lot of time and money. But the small things I think about doing all the time but never do. For a while now I’ve told myself I would do more once I had a better job, more money, and more security. Instead, how much more would my life mean to me if I started…‘living for more’ than what’s next, for more than myself, for more than the status quo. And so I came up with a simple…and hopefully fun idea.

I told Amy what I was thinking and she told me to go for it! The simple slogan of ‘living for more’ became my all- consuming thought for the next few weeks. Finally, sometime in October I sat down and made a list, of all the things I always think about doing or want to do but just never do.  I thought about ways to make a difference, activities I want to do every year, and a few items I thought by 30 I might have accomplished.  After intensive feedback from Amy I narrowed down my list….to 30 things.

And so I start this blog with a purpose…to document the 30^th year of my life and my attempt to ‘live for more’ than myself or a job or a routine. The list, my 30 things I will do this year, is not a secret and I will share it with you. And I can promise that this is serious and these things will happen, some in big ways, some in small ways, some involving you, some involving strangers. Tomorrow, on my 30^th birthday, I will post my 30@30 list. But today I am still a twenty-something  and I’m living out my 29^th year!

Esse Quam Videri